This is a useful resource…
i’ll be the most creative murderer the world has ever seen
two types of people
(Source: inthepitofmystomach, via humourprincess)
MY MATH TEACHER SAW ME TEXTING AND MADE ME STAND IN FRONT OF THE ROOM AND HE TOLD ME TO READ THE TEXTS BUT I WOULNT SO HE TOOK MY PHONE AND READ THE LAST THREE ON THERE OUT LOUD AND THE FIRST ONE WAS “IM HUNGRY” AND MY FRIEND REPLIED WITH “HUNGRY FOR SEMEN” AND I SAID “TRUE THOUGH” IMGONNA JUMP OFF A BUILDING
(via laughcentre)
sometimes my mood is ‘beyonce’
but other times its ‘white person in an infomercial’
(via legit-humour)
in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke
(via swagical)
I think that a lot of the reason Jarvis has become so human is because Tony treats him like he’s human. Tony talks to Jarvis in a very colloquial way. He says “you up?” when he knows damn well that Jarvis is operational. He says “throw a little hot-rod red in there” instead of “paint components x, y, and z with red paint #20.” Tony treats all his machinery like that—Dummy and You, especially—and Jarvis is no exception.
Jarvis has become much more human since Iron Man 1. He actually displayed emotions in Iron Man 3—specifically when he feared for Tony’s life, his voice sounded terribly frightened, and in instances like the second gif where he said “I need to sleep” and not “My battery is depleted.” Jarvis has grown and changed, as any self-aware creature does. He has become human because he is treated as such.
(Source: runningawaywithaspaceman, via likeabamf)
SO I WAS AT STARBUCKS RIGHT AND I SAW THIS OLD MAN SITTING ALONE AND DRINKING HIS LITTLE CUP OF COFFEE ALL CUTELYI WAS LIKE AWW SO I WROTE THIS AND GAVE IT TO HIM
HE WAS SO HAPPY I WANTED TO CRY OHM YGOD
OHMGDFKSJAH HE JUST FCKGNS BOUGHT ME CHOCOLATE MILK AND PUT A PENNY AOF ON IT I CNSDKFA FUCK IM OGING TO CRY IN STARBUCKS HE BOUGHT ME CHOCOLATE MILK
(via thisismy-themepark)
- person: wanna hear a funny story?
- me: no
- person: *tells story anyway*
- police: *knock knock*
- me: whos there
- police: theres been an accident
- me: theres been an accident who
