May 2013
ozzyosborntodie:
can Dora find you a sense of humor
diamondtwink:
My life is kind of like when you’re about to sneeze and then don’t
earthnation:
deodrant:
deodrant:
what do u put in a toaster
bread
this isnt even a joke
nayx:
this game is rated E for everyone, except you. get out
kricketot:
*favorite character dies*
njena:
i think the reason perfume commercials are so weird is because they have to advertise a smell without using smells
legit-humour:
nobody’s perfect i gotta twerk it
romulusthread:
MY MATH TEACHER SAW ME TEXTING AND MADE ME STAND IN FRONT OF THE ROOM AND HE TOLD ME TO READ THE TEXTS BUT I WOULNT SO HE TOOK MY PHONE AND READ THE LAST THREE ON THERE OUT LOUD AND THE FIRST ONE WAS “IM HUNGRY” AND MY FRIEND REPLIED WITH “HUNGRY FOR SEMEN” AND I SAID “TRUE THOUGH” IMGONNA JUMP OFF A BUILDING
tears-in-the-tardis:
sometimes my mood is ‘beyonce’
but other times its ‘white person in an infomercial’
robertoluongo:
in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke
harrysthefather:
harrysthefather:
SO I WAS AT STARBUCKS RIGHT AND I SAW THIS OLD MAN SITTING ALONE AND DRINKING HIS LITTLE CUP OF COFFEE ALL CUTELYI WAS LIKE AWW SO I WROTE THIS AND GAVE IT TO HIM
HE WAS SO HAPPY I WANTED TO CRY OHM YGOD
OHMGDFKSJAH HE JUST FCKGNS BOUGHT ME CHOCOLATE MILK AND PUT A PENNY AOF ON IT I CNSDKFA FUCK IM OGING TO CRY IN STARBUCKS HE BOUGHT ME CHOCOLATE...
person: wanna hear a funny story?
me: no
person: *tells story anyway*
police: *knock knock*
me: whos there
police: theres been an accident
me: theres been an accident who
ennjey:
WHY DO CATS AND DOGS LOSE ALL COORDINATION WHEN YOU PUT SOMETHING ON THEIR FEET
warpedesto:
do you ever just
make a friend and think
I am so glad this friend is mine
jakemalik:
jakemalik:
*picks u up for prom in heelys*
a true story
just-laff:
egberts:
if i ever met a genie i wouldnt wish for a million dollars id wish that whenever i bought something i’d always have the right amount of money to pay for it in my pocket
you are one of the great thinkers of our time
baby-scars:
yahoo is going to delete every blog that doesn’t reblog my selfies sorry i don’t make the rules
Me when I eat an apple: I'm so fucking healthy.
bideogams:
*goes into the bathroom with a gameboy*
*comes out 5 and 1/2 weeks later*
friendsofthegaybc:
travisstolls:
friendsofthegaybc:
travisstolls:
WHEN HE WAS A YOUNG WARTHOG
WHEN I WAS A YOUNG WARTHOOOOOOOOG
Very nice
Thanks
So Zac Efron won People’s Choice Awards for ”Favourite Dramatic movie actor”
and all I can think about is
foxnewsofficial:
sometimes i’ll have loads of money and then other times i’ll be awake
wartortles:
*holding phone in hand* where the fuck is my phone
